The Shape of Love
by Rebbi
Summary: HikaAki Shounenai slightly onesided. Hikaru's struggle with his own sexual preference. Not so fluffy, a bit angst.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** the standard 'don't own don't sue'

**Warning:** HikaAki Shonen-ai (slightly one-sided); Hikaru POV; not so fluffy, a bit angst maybe. Oh, and this has not be beta-ed! I apologize in advance for any grammatical and spelling mistakes bows (you're welcome to be my beta though, I think this fic will only last about five chapters so it won't take up much of your time)

Just a note on my other fic '_Kami no Itte_', it has _not_ been dropped! But I'm kinda having a writer's block so it will take a bit for me to update (and a big Thank You to Dephanie who's beta-ing it for me!)

**A/N:** This is inspired by a dream I had (god I must be a diehard HikaGo fan if I'm dreaming about it sweatdrop). Well I just decided to take a more realistic view of our most beloved couple (well actually I like Cain/Riff pairing better, but anyways...), and it turned out a bit resembling _Zetsuai1989_ sweat Ok, I'll shut up now so plz enjoy!

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**THE SHAPE OF LOVE --****愛のかたち--**

_by Rebbi_

_--_

Chapter One: A Mask --仮面--

I don't know when exactly it started. Thinking back, it may have been when he grabbed my hand to see if I was a go player; it may have been when he chased me to my school to demand for a game; it may have been when he confronted me in the library, asking for the reason of my defaults. But it doesn't matter anymore. I never believed in love by first sight. I knew that I was drugged little by little. Unconsciously, I was lured by the fiery passion brimming his deep blue eyes as his gaze swept across the board, ensnared by the graceful arcs drew by his long slender fingers as they tenderly picked up the stones, intoxicated by the irresistible sweetness of his almost unnoticeable smile as the corner of his pale thin lips curved up ever so slightly. When I finally realized the entrapment, it was too late. I fell. Uncontrollably. Completely.

In the beginning, I have dismissed the so-called 'butterfly sensation' as mere obsession created by our intense rivalry. I have told myself repeatedly that what I felt for is his Go, not him; without Go, he was no more than a stranger to me. Yet–

'Shindou, is there something on my face?' Leaning back in his chair and rubbing the corner of his eyes, Touya questioned in a tired voice.

'Huh?' Startled, I realized that I have been staring at him instead of the Goban in the middle of a game, again.

'I said is there something on my face that makes you stare at me like I'm a freak.' He repeated with a slight tinge of annoyance.

'Umm…no, I'm staring 'coz you're cute?' Quickly weighing each option I had, I decided to cover up the potential awkwardness with a joke, which apparently turned out to be a bad choice.

'Shindou. Stop fooling around. You can never beat me if you keep getting distracted for no reason.' I felt as if someone had pinched my inside hard. Fooling around huh? So that was what he thought? I would have felt better if he blushed or got mad and gave me a punch or something, but seeing him categorizing my affections as some frivolous silliness made me want to tear up his calm and placid coldness so badly that I had to bite my tongue to keep the frenzied fury from erupting. It hurt.

I had played really bad after that. Naturally, my subnormal performance had triggered the usual shouting-match, which to no one's surprise led to my storming out of the parlor. I cursed his cool composure under my breathe on the way home, mentally wrenching it into pieces. It was then that I suddenly realized how upset I was, and all for a small careless comment, too. A sensation I have never quite experienced before had finally caught up with me – fear.

I have never seriously pondered my sexuality before. Growing up with Akari, I had always considered her a good playmate just like my other male friends until we drifted apart in that fateful autumn when I encountered Sai. Being only twelve at that time, I was too young to fully appreciate the ambiguous enigma that's called 'female'. My world then began to revolve around Sai, around Go, and around _him_.

As far as my mom concerns, I think she had expected me to get a decent job like my dad, marry Akari and have my own kids. Maybe she wanted a grandson to carry on the family name, as I was the only child. Or perhaps a granddaughter too, since she always seemed to like little girls. Respectable job, happy family, and an ordinary life. Yes, I often wondered if that was exactly what my life would be like had I not been dragged into the world of Go. Still, playing go had nothing to do with one's sexuality. And I'm sure it is quite understandable that a typical Asian teenager from a middle-class family, Go player or not, would sure panic upon discovering himself involved in some kind of intimate activities with his friend and rival in a dream. Yes, my first sexual fantasy involved him. And fear had finally settled inside me.

I have never in my life encountered someone gay. To me 'homosexuality' was one of those not-quite-comprehensible words that only appeared in dictionaries. But I have heard enough to know that it was labeled as something unnatural, morbid and despicable. It could not be more clear that confronting my sexual orientation would cost me my career, my reputation, my friends and possibly even my family. Afraid to lose any of these, I decided to carefully hide my disgusting self under a well-constructed façade.

Akari willingly complied my intention. It was true that I had not officially asked her out, or said that I liked her, or even announced her as my girlfriend. But it was quite obvious to her, and to everyone else for that matter, that going to meals or movies together as often as once a week would label us as a couple. I had been quite guilty about using Akari so selfishly, but I assured myself that maybe one day I would eventually learn how to love her, and how to forget about _him_. Deep down though, I was perfectly aware that I was lying, to myself to her and to the whole world. Sure enough, that One Day never came.

Even the dumbest person on the planet would have realized something was wrong if their boyfriend kept avoiding kissing them, and Akari was far from dumb. To people around us, we'd always put up the show of a lovey-dovey couple that have already celebrated their first anniversary, but she knew that I did not love her, and I, I could no longer pretend that I did.

When we were past the stage of just holding hands and the standard one-date-per-week, I tried to mentally prepare myself for our first kiss. Akari had dragged me to Yokohama for shopping that day. We climbed up the Landmark Tower, the tallest building in Japan as she excitedly told me, and enjoyed the spectacular view of Tokyo Gulf and Mt.Fuji. After dinner at China Town, she brought me to a park situated right next to the sea for a walk. We joined some other loving couples on the grass, feeling the cool evening breeze softly brushing over us. She snuggled a little closer and put her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped an arm around her, enjoying this relaxing tranquility.

'Ne, Hikaru? Remember how we always used to play in the neighborhood park when we were little?' Akari broke the silence in a quiet voice. 'I'm glad that we could come to a park again, kinda reminds me of those happy time we spent together.'

I could feel her smiling into my shirt as she pressed her face into my shoulder. Her words moved me. As I lifted her face and looked into those bright hazel eyes, my whole heart was filled with nostalgic warmth of the innocent and carefree childhood memories reflected back through her gaze. I lowered my head as she tilted her chin up a little expectantly and closed her eyes. I inhaled deeply; the salty scent of the sea filled my nostrils as I searched for her lips. Suddenly a pair of clear sea-blue eyes gazed at me from a dark corner inside me. In my mind's eye, the silky dark hair, the milky white complexion, the slender graceful frame became clearer and clearer, their presence piercing me like a thousand sharp knives. _Him_. I jerked away from the expectant face before I had realized what I was doing. Akari opened her eyes and looked at me with surprise and bewilderment. Breathing heavily, I looked away.

I apologized later and she said nothing, so our relationship continued. But things did not improve: awkward situations kept happening and I kept apologizing, until it was our mutual understanding that kissing was out of question. She never complained. I think she understood partially what was going on and was waiting for me patiently. If that party had never taken place, perhaps our awkward relationship may have dragged on for much longer.

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_TBC --__つづく--_

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**A/N:** Phew! so how did you like it? I found it quite hard to write from a boy's perspective, so I apologize for any OoC-ness as this is solely my own interpretation of how Hikaru would struggle against his sexuality. Sorry for the lack of fluff and HikaAki interaction, but please do look forward to the next chapter grinning a bit evilly Anyways, please **_review_** and tell me what you think! Criticisms and suggestions are welcome! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** the standard 'don't own don't sue'

**Warning:** HikaAki Shonen-ai (slightly one-sided); Hikaru POV; not so fluffy, a bit angst maybe; not beta-ed; apologies for any grammatical and spelling mistakes blah blah blah…

**A/N:** Wow I'm actually updating in less than a day! I should give myself a pat on the head, especially when I have a Chinese exam tomorrow and I'm putting this as my priority _(sweat)._ Let's hope that I can keep up this pace (although it's very unlikely...) Again, criticism and suggestions are welcome! Enjoy!

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**The Shape of Love** **愛のかたち**

_by Rebbi_

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Chapter Two: A Game ゲーム

It was Waya and Nase's coming-of-age celebration. We decided to throw a big party for the two at Isumi's place, since his apartment had the largest living room. A lot of pros around our age were invited, along with some friends from our insei days. Akari got invited as well because she was my girlfriend. We got Waya's favorite sushi and some other finger food; Saeki-san even brought beer and wine, although a lot of us were not old enough to drink yet. The party was great and everyone was in high spirit. I even coaxed Touya into sipping some wine, since he protested that beer was too bitter. Just as I was pressing another glass into Touya's protesting hands, Nase and some other girls proposed playing Ousama-game and handed each of us a chopstick. Reading Touya's confused expression, I asked:

'Never played before?'

'No. Why are they giving us chopsticks?'

'See, there's a number on each chopstick and one that says 'Ousama', the King. Whoever gets the 'King' can order whatever they like from any 'number'. Don't worry, it's easy. Much easier than Go anyway.' I grinned and earned a faint smile back.

After the first round Touya had grasped the basic of it. The game turned out to be quite fun. We watched Komiya ordering number 14, Ochi, to drink a disgusting mixture of orange juice, vinegar and sake. I mentally punched myself for forgetting to take a picture of Ochi's expression – it was definitely worth a million yen. After several rounds including Saeki giving Nase a piggyback and Iijima and Fuku singing the national anthem 'Kimi ga Yo' while matching around the room, Waya, who was already slightly drunk, got to be the King.

'Ha! Now let's have some real fun!' Swaying slightly as he got up from his cusion, Waya grinned evilly to the crowd. 'Hmm…let's see…Number 5 and Number 7 have to kiss each other!'

'EHHHH!' the guys looked at Waya in disbelief while the girls giggled and peaked at each other's number nervously. Isumi looked like he was restraining himself from hitting the drunken boy on the head. If it weren't for the fact that _I_ was number 5, it would have been an amusing task to watch. Just as I was about to hit Waya on the head myself, I felt Touya twitched slightly next to me, staring at his chopstick in utter horror. Suddenly I changed my mind: 5 was my lucky number after all! I grabbed Touya's wrist and exclaimed loudly: 'Touya, you're number 7!'

The whole room now stared at the perplexed dark-haired boy. Waya's grin became more evil as several people cheered asking who number 5 was, eager to see the ever so emotionless prodigy getting a kiss. Touya tried to free his hand from mine desperately in an attempt to hide away his chopstick. A surge of heating rushed to my head as I felt the smoothness of his delicate skin under my grasp. Everything was a blur and the next thing I knew, my other hand had snaked its way up the back of his head and my lips were pressed on his. All of my senses had ceased to function. I felt only the softness and warmth of his lips and the loud pounding of my own heart. When I finally pulled away, I suddenly realized everyone had goneveryquiet. His eyes slightly unfocused, a blank expression on his face, Touya's creamy white cheek was shaded with a faint tinge of pink.

'Ow, Shindou's number 5!' Honda, who was sitting next to me, broke the silence as he took a look at my chopstick. People started to laugh and treated the whole thing a prank I had pulled off. As the party had returned to full volume again and people began to chat animatedly, I caught Touya's eyes. I could sense the presence of something unfamiliar behind those dark blue crystals, but he soon broke the contact and looked away. Feeling someone else's gaze on me, I look around only to discover Akari's unreadable hazel eyes; shock, sorrow and bitterness contorting her face. The mirages I had convinced myself for reality faded away; my façade had been ripped off. All of a sudden I felt naked and vulnerable.

The confrontation wasn't as bad as I had expected. I walked her home in complete silence. She did not question me, nor did she cry or shout, but I knew it was time give her an explanation, for once and all. When we reached the front of her house, I gathered all the courage I could muster and turned to face her.

'Akari. I...I think I fell in love with someone else. I'm sorry.' I could not see her face in the dark as it was covered by the shadow of her bang.

'I know.' Her voice was slightly shaking and almost inaudible. 'I knew…'

'You knew?' Was I that obvious? 'When? How?'

'I knew there was someone else when you refused to kiss me, but I never thought it was Touya-kun.' Inwardly, I heaved a sign of relief but immediately felt guilty again hearing her broken voice. 'Remember once you were really upset for sometime and almost gave up Go? I thought you've lost someone you loved and could not get over it…'

I was amazed by her acute intuition. Things do indeed work in strange ways. Of all the people, I had not expected Akari, someone outside the world of Go, to discover the legendary player Sai's existence in my heart. 'Akari, hontto ni gomen…'

'I, I should get going now.' Her voice high-pitched with a note of fake cheeriness, she fumbled for key.

'Akari!' Just as she was turning away, I called her before I could stop myself. 'Why did you go out with me, even when you knew?'

I watched her back froze, then she turned and finally gazed me steadily in the eye: 'Because I can never give you up, because I have always loved you.' Her lower lip was trembling slightly, but her voice was quiet and steady.

Her eyes were determined yet gentle, but the more she forgave me, the more I hated myself for hurting her so selfishly. Wanting to escape the invisible overwhelming force that was crushing my conscience, I brought up one hand to my forehead and let out a shaky laugh: 'I bet you're really disgusted with me now, huh? Sorry Akari, I'm not worth your feelings. I'm just a disgustingly twisted homosexual who should be spit at.'

_How pathetic._ I laughed at myself bitterly. Yes, why hiding it? I _am_ truly nothing than a pathetically depraving soul. I wanted to end this. I wanted all the uncontrollable feelings consuming and poisoning me to disappear, yet I couldn't. I felt suffocated and trapped in an eternal darkness.

Just as I was about to surrender to the overwhelming hysteria building up inside me, a strong grip clamped on my forearm, pulling it away from my face. Akari's piercing glare shot straight into my own pupils.

'You…Is that what you think? You know nothing!' I was bewildered at burst of rage. Was she mad at me after all? 'You don't even understand what it is to love! You don't fall in love because you want to, or because you think it's fun! You don't have any control on who, when, where, or how you fall for someone! It's not your fault, Hikaru!' She suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace and whispered: 'Don't ever, ever be ashamed of your feelings.'

She let go quickly and took a deep breath: 'Thank you for everything, Hikaru, I had a great time. Farewell.' before turning her heels and walked towards her apartment door, leaving me in a hazed stun.

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TBC --つづく—

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**A/N:** Wahhh can't believe I did this to poor Akari! Although I'm not a HikaAka fan, I do also hate the way Hikaru is using Akari here. So don't get me wrong and think that I'm just torturing our lovely Akari for fun _(ducking from the flying daggers)_. As much as I love Hikaru, I do believe that there is an ugly side to every human being, and Hikaru is certainly not an exception. I do realize that this fic is getting a bit heavy, maybe it reflects my mental state: im currently under huge pressurefrom mid-year exams _(flipping through a chemistry textbook)._ But I promise that this won't be as heartbreaking as Zetsuai/Bronze! Again, please **_review_**!

**Reference:**

(1) In Japan, people are officially adults when they are twenty (it's also the legal age to start drinking). The Coming-of-age Ceremony (成人式) takes place on January 9th every year. Therefore when the party took place, Waya and Nase are still 19, but would become twenty that year. So that makes Hikaru, Akira and Akari about 18.

(2) Ousama-game (王様ゲーム) is a popular game among teenagers in Japan. I had played it on several occasions and believe me, you should consider yourself lucky if you're just getting a harmless little kiss for the dare.xD So how do you like that little fluff there? I'm quite proud to say that this is the scene inspired by my dream, in which I was playing Ousama-game with several HikaGo characters (don't laugh at me!) I can't really remember the details of the dares though…

(3) 'Hontto ni Gomen' means 'I'm really sorry.'

(4) Sorry I forgot to mention this in the last chapter, but everything I've described about Yokohama, where Hikaru and Akari went on the date, is true because that's where I live! I love the city and I get a great view of Landmark Tower and Tokyo Gulf from my living room, too! If you ever get the chance to visit Japan, Yokohama is definitely a fantastic place to go! So ppl come and visit me!

**Fayalargo Winterwoelfin** '_I don't like what he's doing to Akari. I find it unfair towards her._' I agree. I found Akari really forgiving too! I might have strangled him, or myself more likely if I found my boyfriend cheating on me with a _guy_. Let's hope that some HikaAka writers out there will give Akari what she deserves.

**LittleNK:** '_I have a feeling that this fic will be sad._' Yes, this turned out to be a bit more depressing than I had originally planned.'_I've something to read while I take a break_' Now don't make the break too long, you know your faithful readers are waiting for the continuation of 'Be with me Always':D


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** the standard 'don't own don't sue' (do I have to say this over and over again?)

**Warning:** HikaAki Shonen-ai (slightly one-sided); Hikaru POV; not so fluffy, a bit angst maybe; not beta-ed; apologies for any grammatical and spelling mistakes blah blah blah…

**A/N:** I'm currently looking for two betas for my new fic '_The Tale of Light_' (as you've probablynoticed I suck at making up titles, so I may change it to something else later). This AU fic takes place during the Heian period, main characters are Sai, Hikaru and Akira, along with OCs (most of them are real historical figures such as Murasaki Shikibu and Sei Shonagon). There's a lot of background info on Japanese culture and real historical events that took place during that time (mainly based on the record of Lady Murasaki's Diary), so this will be good reading for anyone interested in Japanese history and culture. I'm not planning to post it until I've found a beta, so if anyone's interested please tell me in the review or email/PM me! Thankies!

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**The Shape of Love** **愛のかたち**

_by Rebbi_

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Chapter Three: A friend --友達--

Should it ever be a sin to love someone? If I love him as much as any other person would love his or her own lover, why should they be admired while I am condemned because of it? Who has the authority to judge what kind of love is right and what is wrong anyway? God? No! This is _my_ feeling. I don't care if it's not accepted by society! I don't need others to tell me what is right or wrong! I, and I alone will decide on that.

I love him. Yes. And I am prepared to scream these three words to the world a thousand times if it takes that much to convince everyone on Earth of my passion and sincerity. Touya Akira. Regardless of whether he be a man, woman, machine, animal or plant, I love him and always will.

_This_, is my love.

_Don't ever, ever be ashamed of who you love._

Thanks, Akari. Your words saved me from the cage I've created for myself. I would not run away any more. It was time I come out from the shadow of my mask.

'Na, Waya?'

'Hm?'

'Did I tell you that I broke up with Akari?'

'What? How come?'

'I cheated on her, and she found ou – Ewww! Don't spray me with ramen!'

'You CHEATED on her? You, Shindou Hikaru, CHEATED?'

Ok, maybe my explanation was a little brief and not too accurate, but that didn't grant him the privilege to ruin my favorite shirt; and it's a waste of my favorite green onion ramen, too. Worst still, with my black and yellow '5' outfit and bleached bang, I already stood out in this little dingy ramen shop among all the ojisan, and Waya had just made sure that I was the center of everyone's attention.

Taking several gulps of water when he finally realized how loud he had been, Waya managed to tune his voice into a whisper: 'So, who's this girl that made you cheat – jeez, I still cant believe you ch –'

'You've already repeated that for three times now, ya know?' I said in a bored voice. 'Who d'you think I am, a saint?'

My previous confidence deflated a little as I began to wonder if it was a good idea to confess to Waya after all. If this was his reaction to the mere possibility of me cheating on my girlfriend, I shuddered to think how he would take what I was about to tell him. I quickly shook my head a little and pushed aside the renewed insecurity. He was my best friend. I didn't want to lie to him any longer.

So I waited for Waya to finish chewing his mouthful of noodles before asking in a casual tone: 'Ne, what if I tell you that I fell in love with a guy?'

I waited.

Ten seconds.

Thirty seconds.

A minute.

Then to my shock, Waya suddenly started to bang his fist on the table while shaking with laughter, his face turning into a deep shade of crimson and his eyes swelling with tears. Bewildered, I started to wonder if the piece of news was too much of a shock to him that it cracked his mind. It was embarrassing. We were once again under piercing stares that clearly labeled us 'lunatics escaped from some mental institute'.

'Shi…Shindou!' Clutching his ribs, Waya managed to spit out 'this…this is the best joke you've ever come up!' before dissolving into a fit of laughter again.

'Stop laughing, Waya! I mean it!' Annoyed by his lack of seriousness, I snapped.

No use.

'Waya!'

It seemed like he didn't even hear me.

'SHUT UP!'

Waya stopped laughing immediately.

We were both breathing heavily. I could tell from his shocked and confused expression that I must've looked really mad. But I couldn't care less. Feeling suddenly bold and reckless, I just wanted to get the whole thing over with.

'Waya. I'm in love with Touya. I. Love. Touya. Is that too difficult for you to understand?'

And that did shut him up effectively.

Realizing I might have been a bit harsh with my tone, I lowered my eyes guiltily. Why was I getting mad at him? After all, if positions were reversed and Waya told me he's in love with Isumi (sorry Isumi, I was just saying) or something, I would probably have laughed the whole thing off too. It was then I realized that I wanted him to accept me. I wanted him to pat my shoulder and say it's ok. I needed reassurance. Desperately so.

'You…you're serious?' Waya whispered hoarsely after a long silence.

I nodded slowly, feeling heat creeping up my face.

'God Shindou…What the hell is wrong with you!' he let out a shaky sign. I couldn't help to steal a glance at him. Waya had covered his eyes with one hand and was rubbing his temple with his thumb.

My heart sank. _Damn! I shouldn't have told him after all. What did I expect? His understanding? God I'm so naïve. _

'Forget it. I shouldn't have told you that. I…' At a loss of what to say, I found myself wishing that time would turn back so I wouldn't let my stupid revelation ruin our friendship. But Waya suddenly let out another long sign:

'Does that mean I have to hang out with that arrogant jerk from now on?'

'What?'

'Face it. The two of you meet up nearly everyday now – that's more often than any couple I know! Imagine when you _do_ start dating, I'm sure you'd be practically glued together from morning to night – what? Am I wrong?'

'You…you're ok with this?' My heart thumped. A tiny bit of hope started to creep up from the pit of my stomach.

'Course I'm not! What do you see in him anyway? If it was Isumi or someone, I would understand but for God's sake, Shindou! Nobody would fall for _that_ jerk unless they've cracked their skull! I'd rather it be Ochi…'

'It's not that! I'm asking if you're ok with me loving a guy!'

I watched anxiously as Waya opened his mouth as if to say 'of course', but he hesitated and closed it again. He lowered his gaze and took another sip of water. 'I…to be honest, I'm a bit shocked…No, I guess a bit is kinda underestimating. It's just that you don't get to find out your friend's gay everyday, ya know? '

'I'm not gay!' words slipped from my mouth before I could stop.

'Shindou, you. Love. Touya. You. Are. Gay. Period.'

'Still that doesn't make me gay! I don't crawl over every guys I see on the street! Touya's different!'

'How's he different? …Unless you think of him as a girl because he looks like one?' An evil grin registered on Waya's face.

'Waya! It's not like that! What I mean is…I don't care if he's a guy or a girl…Hell! I don't care if he's human or whatever! He's just Touya, and that's all I want, you get it?' Exasperated, I tried to explain the kind of feelings I had, but the truth was, even I didn't really know what kind of feelings I had. It was a mixture of sweet anticipation, tense anxiety, painful longing and much much more…

'Shindou, stop day-dreaming.' Brought back to reality, I found Waya rolling his eyes. 'What I was saying was that you're my friend, so if it makes you happy then I'll bear with Touya.' He growled at the name, pulling a painful expression that made me chuckle. 'Anyways, I think I'm ok with it. It would be lying if I tell you it's no big deal, but that doesn't really change anything between us, right? I just need some time to adjust to it…Wahhh I'm rambling! But you get what I mean right?'

'Thanks, Waya.' I smiled softly.

I guess we all needed some time to adjust to new things. It was only natural to be confused at the beginning. But what really made a difference was whether to build a shield around ourselves and live in the comfortable cage or to face the unknown and deal with the confusion.

The soul of a human is weak. We repeatedly make mistakes, we repeatedly lament our losses, but we repeatedly stand up again -- with the support of those who love us and those we love.

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TBC --つづく--

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**A/N:** Yay finished! This chapter took me a long time 'coz I couldn't decide whether to let Hikaru confess to Waya first or just go straight to Akira. But then I thought Hikaru would need someone to be there for him (and I wanted Waya to play a bigger role too :D), so it turned out like this. I had a hard time writing this chapter since I'm really bad at conversations, so I hope I didn't confuse you too much. Please _**review**_ and tell what you think of it! **

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Reference: **

(1) I know that I'm in no position to define 'love' as it's such a complicated thing and I don't believe I've ever really fallen in love to know what it feels like in the first place (sadly). I took the quote:

'_Regardless of whether he be a man, woman, machine, animal or plant, I love him and always will.' _

from Zetsuai1989 because I really liked it and agree with it too. Wahh I should stop thinking about Zetsai, it'll just make me more depressed! (poor Isumi and Kouji TT)

(2) I know the last two paragraphs were really cliché, but I just couldn't help writing them down!

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**AmoreBlack**** and ****Mitsuki Ashya: **Thank you! I'm really touched that people actually like my writing. You reviews really encourage me a lot. I will try to improve my writing even more, so please stick along! 

**AgniDragon: **_I like the somewhat realistic touch to it._ Yeah, I'm quite proud of it too. Actually that's the main reason I wrote this fic. I just wanted to take a very realistic approach to the relationship, so when I'm writing, I often imagine what I would really do if I'm in Hikaru's position. I know I'm a girl and I'm probably straight, but I do try really hard to be convincing enough. _And no character bashing, thats good too._ Well, hope you'll not be disappointed by Waya in this chappie (I had a hard time grasping his character).

**VKempf: **_I like how you portray Akari as a sensible, intelligent and intuitive girl ; it's so rare around here that I feel I have to stress it._ Yeah, I always see Akari as someone who's silently watching over Hikaru in distance. Poor her…

By the way, I love your 'The Way of Go' very much, hope you'll continue with it?

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Finally a big 'Thank You' to all my reviewers and readers! Hope you're enjoying this fic as much as I am writing it! 


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